(Picture from the University Of Maine Farmington)
History! The inconsistent story of the people and events that happened before us. Yes! Clear, consistent, truthful history.
For example, Johnny Appleseed. (That’s right… I’m talking about critical history here. Next week, Paul Bunyan.)
Johnny, the do-gooder, pot on the head, randomly scattering apple seeds hither and yon, yon and hither. Driven by his love of apples and his fellow man, compelled to plant, to nourish, to feed the country! It seems that the history of his charity is pretty accurate. He liked to do good things. He liked animals and people. Of course, he was also deeply religious and enjoyed cramming his own version of the supernatural down everybody’s eager gullet.
I don’t know much about apples, but I do know that they require grafting to be truly edible. The history here seems to agree – he didn’t scatter seeds randomly. He planted orchards on something like a commission. But he also didn’t like grafting. (This from Michael Pollan’s The Botany Of Desire.) So, what do you do with inedible apples?
You turn them into booze! Glorious, sweet booze. And that’s the real reason why people, and history, liked Johnny Appleseed.
My own history is simpler. I am a scatterer of Pea Seeds.
Stevie Pea Seed.
Lots of people that I know are starting gardens and I always, always encourage them to grow peas. The Connecticut climate works well for them. Today, I will be giving a few seed packets away to first and second-year gardeners.
Be kind to me history! There is no booze you can make from Peas (that I know of… hmmmm), but I am likable nonetheless.